I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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