Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I need a beard to bite.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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