Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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