Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize