He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
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Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
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There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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