what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
