People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
i out mim tonsoeep
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
