I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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