She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
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im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
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don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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