We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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