There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
