i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
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I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
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I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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