I'm jealous of your bromance
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I wear drunk well.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
