ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
