i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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