Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
