No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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