This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
