I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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