I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
