sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
