That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
