weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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