kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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