absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
