I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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