and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize