I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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