idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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