how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
