i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
