i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
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I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
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I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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