fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
