shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
we're making bets on your personal life
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
