I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
