Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Boobs are out for the taking
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
