Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
