On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
