apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
