I'm jealous of your bromance
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
