I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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