don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
