he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
We don't watch enough power rangers
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
