i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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