I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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