I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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