I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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