im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
