No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
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