Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Randomize
