There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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