2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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