i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Even my vagina gasped.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
