this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
