Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
