ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
bring money and cleavage
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
