I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
i believe in u and ur pee
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
