So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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